Who am I :)
i am many roles with many skills living in bali with my two sons- Cyan and Pinaki and Vishesh, my crazy not normal life-partner but also very loving and kind human being, remote working as developer advocate for Zyte- a major player in web data extraction industry, was a data scientist at IBM.
ofcourse if you are deep in spirituality, a thought might cross your mind. no! you are not a role or a skill, and probably if i am sitting in front of you right now you would even say, 'you are infinite love and being "i am" is enough'. hehe sure, I agree :)
When you transcend space and time continuum and connect with the greater intelligence none of this would matter. You are full and beautiful just the way you are! Sure, living your day to day life from that space of infinite love is quintessential. Without that, you won't even have the luxury to think this. Without that, most likely you are living the life of a hamster on a wheel. Without that, you are most likely living in body who have become the master to your mind, over the years of relentless cycle of practising thinking & feeling, feeling & thinking that you are on autopilot mode of reacting to the patterns acquired.
it's important to lose your mind before you could recreate a new one. I did lose too. from past 6 years working on recreating a new one. it seems i have moved away from what i actually wanted to say. but don't worry it will all make sense one day or rather one moment some day. in that one moment, you will see the beauty of everything interconnected. just the way i saw it.
let's come back or step out of nothingness. i always get confused whether this is the dream or that is the dream. for simplicity, let's call our experience on earth as real. let's get back to space time continuum where "i am" is not enough. in a world where it's important you take radical responsibility of yourself and your duties. in a world you show up as a child, a parent, a sibling, a friend, an employee. in a world where you have bills, school fees & rent to pay.
My husband, just because of the way he is, have changed his social bio gazillion times of who he is. He is a deep thinker. and i wonder a lot at his being. what would i write if i have to? it indeed is a difficult task to put yourself in a box and define who you are.
instantly my body reacted to when i wrote putting yourself in a box. my fingers stopped typing for a moment, notice how i am secretly resisting this idea. the word-box itself is firing endless neurons in my head because thinking outside the box is cool, being out of the box is creative, being outside the comfort zone is freedom.
but as i am recreating a new me, i have realised the importance of structures and systems- to redefine the box itself, to view the box from different angles, to rewriting the stories that you have told and the ones you have been telling yourself, to shift your perspective of yourself and everything you are part of, to notice you have been viewing yourself and everything from a small peephole to opening yourself to the eternal wisdom of how this box is an illusion itself. to be able to see beyond yourself and not only recognising or realising but feeling and embodying you are part of everything and everything is you.
i pray and i wish for you to decode this simple riddle in this life. it won't just happen, you must take the first step and set the intention of experiencing this oneness. and this world will never be the same again!
i wish my writing on this blog help you on this journey. i hope tales and tunes of my life and learnings guide you, and give you courage the follow your heart. i hope you feel the warmth of a kiss from a lover when you read these simple ordinary tales of curiosity, courage and compassion.
i can say i am a student a teacher a storyteller a writer a systems thinker an ai evangelist and etc...
still searching for my ikigai... but one word i want to be written on my tombstone- one word to define myself at the core. before i reveal- i almost feel like a fool sometimes in some situations when i wonder about the decisions i have taken in this life. well having said that, i would own up being a fool a thousand millions of times over and again- if that's true because only a fool could dare do that :)
Welcome to the world of a LOVER!